A Hermit’s Dilemma

Today was an alright day. Got some groceries. They can stay on my floor for a while. Talked to a person. Made a fool out of myself, drove home in a cold sweat. It’s a step forward, I guess. Her name tag said ‘June.’ Latin origin? All calendar names are. Funny, she didn’t look Latin. Pretty excited to try HEB brand rising crust pizza. It had better be a step up from Kroger’s for the 75 cents extra.


What is that? The smoke alarm? I have a smoke alarm? If I were worried about burning to death, I’d have stopped smoking in bed after that one episode of Law and Order. The battery must be dying. Damn. I’ll have to leave the house tomorrow. I don’t know, maybe I’ll just live with it. Two days in a row seems excessive.


I wonder if Amazon sells batteries. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve surprised me. Remember when I realized they sell books? Who would buy books and have the internet at the same time? Dumb move, Amazon. Let’s see… D- B-A-T-T-E-R-


Yes, I get it. New battery required. So loud. I think my ears are bleeding. What an asshole. Maybe if I turn the TV up really loud. That dick next door can deal with it. How often does he have people over? Where or why does he meet them? I can’t imagine keeping a place ready to not induce vomiting in a stranger all the time. People are weird.


Should I tape a shirt or something over it? Oh, this is a good episode. The husband did it. I wonder why Dad left. I vaguely remember them going to counseling once in a while. I would have liked to sit in on a session or two. Would answer a lot of questions. Plus, it would help to have the cause of everything there, I think. Got ’em! Jack McCoy is such a good detective.


I wonder if Dad had killed Mom instead of just leaving, how he’d have done it. Probably run her over with a car. Like in the intro to The Simpsons. He sure did love cars.


These seem to be getting closer together. Don’t censor me, alarm. Just because I think about something that makes you uncomfortable doesn’t mean that I don’t have the right to think it. Okay? I don’t need you, you’ve never had a fire to alert me of. Why do you exist if you aren’t going to do the one thing you were made to do?


Maybe he’d have just knocked her out and left her in the gara-


This noise is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

I guess I understand, fire alarm: to wonder if anyone would notice if you just disappeared, to question whether you’ll ever be given the chance to prove that you deserve to exist. I’d want someone to come along and make me matter, if I were you, fire alarm. In fact-






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2 Responses to A Hermit’s Dilemma

  1. Aunt Carol says:

    I wonder? Did you ever get an alarm for the smoke alarm? Love You

  2. Pingback: A Hermit’s Dilemma | My Life, Illuminated

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